Script of of the Children
by CelcoLevi
Summary: This is a long summary of what happens in the kids lives


Eric Cartman

2004 – Eric Cartman is born

2006 – Eric Cartman first meets his "friends" and form "the boys"

2006 – Eric Cartman first meets Clyde Frog

2007 – the boys play with fireworks and Kenny dies

2008 – Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski first become enemies

2008 - Eric Cartman discovers that Kyle Broflovski is a Jew and makes fun of it purely to tease him

2008 – the boys enter pre-school

2008 – the boys send Trent boyett to juvenile hall

2009 – Eric Cartman meets Mr kitty

2010 – the boys enter 1st grade

2010 – Eric Cartman first witnesses his mother with other men

2011 – the boys enter 2nd grade and start getting picked on by 4th graders

2011 - the boys become friends with their school chef

2012 – the boys enter 3rd grade

2012 – Eric Cartman is told by his mother that he is big-boned

2012 – Eric Cartman gets kidnapped by aliens and gets teased by his friends for having an "anal probe"

2012 – Eric Cartman competes for the South Park Cows

2012 – Eric Cartman discovers Hitler when his mother dresses him up as Hitler for Halloween

2012 – the boys befriend an African American and Eric Cartman ends up starving in Africa

2012 – Eric Cartman becomes involved in the "Mecha Streisand disaster"

2012 – Eric Cartman is first diagnosed with mental problems

2012 – Eric Cartman first questions who his father is and is told that his mother is a hermaphrodite

2012 – Eric Cartman pretends to be a police officer

2012 – Eric Cartman takes swimming lessons and the boys flashback to themselves playing with the fireworks

2012 – Eric Cartman and the boys get infected with chickenpox

2012 – Eric Cartman tries out for a cheesy poofs commercial

2012 – Eric Cartman suffers his first diarrhoea

2012 – a nice version of Eric Cartman visits from another universe

2012 – Eric Cartman is tied to a cross and becomes so starved that he suffers memory loss

2012 – Eric Cartman has his eyes dilated and then gets nerdy eyeglasses stapled to his heads, he eventually gets an eye transplant

2012 – the American-Canadian war begins and Eric Cartman is permanently traumatized

2012 – Eric Cartman learns what sexual harassment is

2012 – Eric Cartman discovers his cat Mr Kitty is a hermaphrodite

2012 – Eric Cartman gets put with his friend's unnecessarily violent sister for a babysitter

2012 – Eric Cartman meets KoRn and becomes a fan

2012 – the boys meet the African American kid again and discover aliens

2012 – Eric Cartman commits genocide for the first time

2012 - Eric Cartman discovers what a period is

2012 – the boys accidentally cause the "worldwide shittake"

2012 – the boys form a lucrative business involving the tooth fairy

2012 – Eric Cartman gets arrested for the first time after being accused of hate crimes for throwing a rock at a black kid

2012 – Eric Cartman develops a hate for hippies and tells the police that his mother's hippie boyfriend molested him

2012 – Eric Cartman almost gets molested by members of the NAMBLA

2012 – Eric Cartman forms Fingerbang

2012 – Eric Cartman creates a false church in order to get 10,000 dollars cash, and gets sent to Mexico as punishment

2013 – the boys enter 4th grade, Eric Cartman mourns 3rd grade and convinces everyone to go back in time and after failing, they then decide to except growing up

2013 – Eric Cartman gets morphed by a computer from the future and gets turned back to normal

2013 – Eric Cartman is told that he is just fat and gets sent to fat camp

2013 – Eric Cartman recommends to Kyle Broflovski that he can tell the police that his parents molested him

2013 – Eric Cartman becomes a blaintologist and later goes back to his original beliefs

2013 – Eric Cartman is tricked into buying pubic hair by Scott Tenorman for 16.21 dollars and after watching him burn it and humiliating him over and over, he takes up a brutal retaliation and gets committed for 2 weeks

2013 – Eric Cartman with his class are taught sexual education

2013 – Eric Cartman uses a disease to legalize stem-cell research and recreate a shaky's pizza rather than help a dying friend

2013 – Eric Cartman proves being able to defecate out the mouth

2013 – Eric Cartman drinks the soul of Kenny McCormick, his dead friend

2013 – Eric Cartman's class is sent to tolerance camp

2013 – Eric Cartman becomes sick from his ghost friend due to him drinking his soul

2013 – The boys TP a house for the first time

2013 – Eric Cartman invents psychic time-travel

2014 – Eric Cartman pretends to be mentally retarded to compete in the special Olympics

2014 – Eric Cartman attempts to exterminate the Jews

2014 – Eric Cartman starts a false Christian band, promises to shoot Token Black for calling him "Tubby" and loses it in the end

2014 – Eric Cartman proves that people defecate when they die

2014 – Trent boyett gets released from Juvenile hall and Eric Cartman gets him sent to Juvenile hall again

2014 – Eric Cartman becomes a psychic detective for hire

2014 – Eric Cartman begins exterminating hippies

2014 – every kid in school ignores Eric Cartman and leads to him thinking he is dead

2014 – Eric Cartman develops hate for gingers

2014 – Eric Cartman gets paired up with Heidi Turner in an assignment for taking care of eggs

2014 – Eric Cartman gives out a negative speech about ginger kids and manipulates his class into ridding ginger kids

2014 – Eric Cartman is aware of the emission hybrids cause, and saves Kyle Broflovski

2014 – Eric Cartman attempts to cancel Family guy

2014 – the boys save the World of Warcraft by defeating a mad gamer

2014 – Eric Cartman's child form is confirmed by Satan one of the evilest live souls on earth

2014 - Eric Cartman freezes himself and inadvertently ends up 2546

2014 – Eric Cartman is determined the ugliest kid in class

2014 – Eric Cartman suspects take over from Chinese

2014 – Eric Cartman attempts suicide by sleeping in his mother's garage with the engine turned on

2014 – Eric Cartman invents the new term for fags

2014 – Eric Cartman is revealed to that his father is Scott Tenorman's father, meaning he killed his own father as the part of the retaliation on him before

2014 – Eric Cartman starts the CBAA and loses it to EA

2014 – Eric Cartman starts a successful Burger company called Cartman burgers until everyone finds out what the secret ingredient is

2014 – Eric Cartman joins border to control in order to stop a specific person from getting past the border

2014 – Eric Cartman finds Clyde Frog dead and attends a funeral

2014 – Eric Cartman recovers from schizophrenia a little bit

2014 – Eric Cartman finds out he is second the poorest kid in school

2014 – the boys go zip line riding and end up in "I should have never gone zip lining"

2014 – Eric Cartman admits to being fat

2014 – Eric Cartman manipulates the presidential election

2014 – Eric Cartman infiltrates the NSA

2014 – Eric Cartman shoots Token Black in the left arm as promised

2014 – Eric Cartman freezes himself again and ends up 2115, and gets chased by Asian agents who want to use him a weapon

2014 – Eric gets reminded of the American-Canadian war and reveals that he is the only one that notices Kenny's repetitive deaths, much to Kenny's shock

2014 – Eric Cartman's mother has an affair with Shaun Docker and marries her, giving Eric a step-brother (Clyde Docker) and a step-father

2014 – Clyde Docker befriends Ike Broflovski

2014 – a new Canadian student arrives in south park, with the name "Jerry Maxis"

2014 – the Asian people from 100 years in the future kidnap Eric Cartman on a plane and the plane crashes, causing him to have concussion that handicaps his legs

2014 – Eric Cartman kicks Kyle Broflovski's ass after he laughs at his disability

2014 – Eric Cartman begins hanging out with Jimmy, Timmy and Gary Novskin

2014 – Eric Cartman competes in the special Olympics again, only with a real disability

2014 – Eric Cartman forms his own club in which only people who have gained a disability are allowed to enter

2014 – Eric Cartman discovers the use of Nazi Zombie Fetuses as a way of rebuilding body parts, allowing Eric Cartman to have working legs again

2014 – Eric Cartman rebuilds FingerBang

2014 – Kyle Broflovski tells Eric Cartman the truth about Jesus and he immediately becomes an intolerant atheist and a stereotypical nerd

2014 – Eric Cartman quickly loses his stereotypical nerdiness but keeps his intolerant atheism

2014 – Eric Cartman shows the awful problem of FanFiction on Terrance and Philip

2014 - Eric attempts genocide on Mexicans after having flashbacks of all the bad things Mexicans have done to him

2014 – Eric Cartman goes skiing with the boys and ends up frozen in avalanche, causing him to be frozen for 65,0000 years in a world of homo sentients

2014 – Eric Cartman gets nominated for the ice challenge

2014 – Terrance & Philip end up on Mulu and Eric Cartman leads a protest to get it off

2014 – the boys along with Butters Stotch and Wendy Testaburger, get shrunk down to one and a half millimetres and Eric Cartman and Butters Stotch end up domesticating a fly naming it "Fuzzy" after having a terrifying ride with it through South Park

2014 – Eric takes charge of Fuzzy after growing back to normal size

2014 – Eric and his friends meets his future self from 2044 and get taken from 2014 to 2044

2014 – Eric and the boys befriend two sophisticated prehistoric children from the past

2014 – Eric attempts to remove Family guy, but causes them to crossover into his universe,

2014 – Eric befriends Stewie and later gets into an epic fight

2014 – Eric finds a monolith

2014 – Eric reverses the effects of the monolith and causes time to run in reverse, and turns time to normal once he and his friends go back to first grade

2014 – Eric clubs Kyle to death and gets executed soon after, both of them get sent to hell

2014 – Eric and Kyle do an impossibly good deed and get rewarded by being brung back up from the grave

2014 – Eric becomes more mature

2015 – the boys move to 5th grade

2015 – Eric begins beating up his little brother for befriending Ike Broflovski

2015 – Eric purchases "Terrance & Philip: Hole of Gas" which is a parody of "South Park: Stick of Truth"

2016 – the boys move to 6th grade

2016 – Eric accidentally fingers Butters Stotch during an oculus rift demo

2016 – Eric grows a friendly relationship with Heidi Turner

2017 – the boys move to 7th grade and Eric has a panic attack from seeing older kids

2017 – Eric Cartman forms a full relationship with Heidi Turner, much to Kyle's disbelief

2017 – Eric gets his first pubic hair

2017 – Eric gets a job as a murderer for people who are suicidal

2018 – the boys move into 8th grade

2018 – Stan Marsh tells Eric Cartman that he just got a notification saying Trent Boyett is not allowed in Colorado, saving them from being destroyed

2018 – Eric celebrates his 14th birthday and accidentally swaps the coffee with alcohol, causing adultive things to happen during the night

2019 – the boys move to 9th grade

2019 – Eric Cartman forms the "Ginger Evolution Theory" which means that if one of your parents is ginger, your child may end up a ginger too. This was put to the test and proven correct

2019 – Eric and Kenny try to pantyhose Wendy Testaburger, but mess up in a gross and unpredictable way

2020 – the boys move to 10th grade

2020 – Eric's Fly "Fuzzy" dies of old age and Eric puts on a funeral

2020 – Eric turns 16 and buys a Volkswagen

2020 – Eric tries out to be a surgeon, but faints on his first operation

2020 – Eric finds a dirty picture of Wendy which was supposed to go to Stan and spreads it across the internet… and is forced to do a parody of "Wrecking ball"

2021 – the boys move to 11th grade

2021 – Eric turns into a caffimaniac after getting a ton of assignments

2021 – Eric turns 17

2021 – Eric confirms his dream job of being a police officer

2021 – Eric is paid to teach the 4th graders of South Park

2021 – Eric admits to being a half-ginger

2022 – Eric graduates from high school and gives an insightful speech on being a half-ginger

2022 – Eric's cat Mr Kitty dies and holds on a funeral

2022 – Eric buys the ownership of his mother's house

2023 – Eric lives with Heidi Turner

2024 – Eric along with Kenny and Butters, get a Job at the Police force like they planned

2024 – Eric quits due to dick-shooting, Butters quits due to fear of Pain and Kenny can't stand the fact that so many bullets land in his chest and no one remembers

2025 – Eric becomes excited with the release of Flying Cars

2025 – Eric celebrates his 21st birthday

2025 – Eric has sex with Heidi and ends up with a ginger kid called Earl Cartman, which he puts up for adoption and never speaks of him again

2026 – Eric drives to Nebraska where Kyle Broflovski lives and have their first reunion with Stan Marsh and and Kenny McCormick

2026 – Eric gets shot in the all of the limbs one night and gets hospitalized. he is told that the blood was on Trent Boyett's hands

2027 – Eric becomes Car Mechanic

2027 – Eric sarcastically congratulates Stan on having his first Baby girl through email

2027 – Eric Cartman marries Heidi Turner

2028 – Eric becomes a high level Mechanic

2028 – Eric develops Gyrocoordinatus, a strange and new disease that causes negative effects in certain areas for too long, he becomes affected by throwing up every time he enters Kyle's house, forcing them to reunite at Stan's house

2028 – Eric celebrates the cancellation of Family Guy

2029 – Eric buys a glass-screen

2029 – Eric celebrates the new use of lsar guns (Laser shooting gun)

2029 – Eric's friends except for Kyle, call him either by his first name or Mr Cartman

2029 – Eric's parents retire

2030 – Eric celebrates the 3rd decade of the 21st century

2030 – Eric is unhappy with the new mayor of South Park

2031 – Eric buys a flying Volkswagen for 666.000$

2031 – Eric buys a long night stick

2032 – Eric invites his brother Clyde Docker over and gives him a noogie as a greeting

2033 – Eric impregnates Heidi again, giving out a female brown haired girl, Jessie Cartman

2033 – Eric creates a bedroom for Jessie Cartman

2034 – Eric impregnates Heidi once more, making a grey haired boy, Travis Cartman

2034 – Eric creates a bedroom for Travis Cartman

2034 – Eric hears about Stan's second Child Billy, and Kyle's first child, Cryl.

2035 – Eric introduces his kids to their grandparents, uncles, aunties and half-uncles

2036 – Eric teaches his kids to walk

2036 – Eric hears about Stan's third child buddy being a ginger

2036 – Eric takes Jessie to pre-school

2037 – Eric watches Jimmy Valmer's performance at the live comedy show

2037 – Eric takes Travis to pre-school

2038 – Eric takes too many beers and attempts to buy some more beer with his Flying Volkswagen, along with Kenny's request for some ice. But ends up screaming while flying crazily through a flock of birds, accidentally crushing a mugger, accidentally spreading an obese man's food from his trolley and over to a homeless guy and accidentally ramming a UFO and causing it to abduct an oil spill rather than innocent cows. He buys the beer successfully but forgets the ice. He ends up screaming and driving crazily again and accidentally hauls a rain cloud for a guy without an umbrella, flies through an EA tower, straight down on a Hammer bam game, and into his house, killing Kenny in the process even though Eric is too drunk to realize that Kenny died because he flew into Kenny and not because he forgot the ice and flies back again

2039 – Eric kills it on stage by singing a song made out of one quote "Screw you guys, I'm going home"

2039 – Eric introduces his kids to their uncle, Scott Tenorman

2040 – Eric befriends a homeless guy and sings "Minorities" with the homeless guy doing the music

2041 – Eric sings "Come sail away" by Styx, with the homeless guy doing the music

2042 – the homeless guy reveals to Eric that his name is "Billy Turner" a kid that he put in hospital a long time ago

2042 – Eric does "Fingerbang" on the harmonica

2042 – Eric sells 27 apples for $9.95, giving him $268.65

2042 – Eric visits an Indian American casino to make a toilet stop

2043 – Eric gets a job as a demolition man

2043 – Eric becomes a dictator, and captures Banff

2043 – Eric goes back to car mechanics

2044 – Eric's mother comes over for visit, which he disapproves

2044 – Eric starts going back to 2014 to buy foods for a cheaper price

2044 – Eric meets his past self and friends, and takes them from 2014 to 2044

2044 – Eric meets his first son, Earl Cartman, who is emotionally homicidal and pissed off at his family, especially his father until they both have an emotional breakdown


End file.
